I have a lot of beautiful things. I mention this because I've been thinking a lot lately about the need to possess that which we find beautiful. Over the last 20 years or so, I've collected many things from all over the world. When it was time to move yet again, I really tried to be ruthless as I went through my belongings, yet still we managed to ship 12,000 pounds of household goods.
As I've been unpacking this week, each box is like a mini-Christmas. I love unwrapping each item, challenging myself to recognize something through the paper before I see it with my eyes. But as I find a new home for each piece of crystal or painting or print or photograph or pottery, it occurs to me how little I actually use. I have 4 curio cabinets now that are available for display purposes, plus a cabinet where I can store things until it is their turn. Each vase or bowl or decanter or glass is special to me - I can usually tell you where I found it or who gave it to me or what trip we were on and with whom. But I never use these things and so, as pretty as they are, and as much sentimental value as they have, I do have to wonder what their ultimate purpose is. (Now, my friend D will never understand this post because she is one of the few people who I know that truly does use all of her beautiful things - even wine and crackers at her home is served beautifully.)
But back to my original thought. Over the years I have "just had to have" so many things and I wonder what it is about me (and I'm not alone) that doesn't allow me to just enjoy the beauty of something and move on.
I used to have severe car envy - I would see someone drive by in a beautiful Mercedes and actively covet - but I solved that by realizing that that person had to look at my big red minivan while I actually got to enjoy their beautiful car because I wasn't sitting inside of it. I fell in love with the new Toyota Matrix, the car we ultimately bought. Just something about their lines appealed to me. One day, after I had had it for about a month, another Matrix drove by and I remember looking at it thinking "oh, that's a nice looking car, I would like to have that" before I realized "oh yeah, I'm sitting in one right now."
I have beautiful jewelry - much of which sits in the box because once I possessed it, I often forgot all about it.
The only things that are beautiful that I don't ache to have as my own are things that so obviously impossible - Big Sur, the Grand Canyon, the beautiful water of the Gulf of Mexico.
So - this is my new resolve - to start appreciating the beautiful things that I see without buying them - without needing to take them home with me. And...to start using the things that I already have. (Jeff - if you're reading - I don't want to hear this echoed back at me next time I come home with a shopping bag!)
I realize that as I read back over this that I have failed to communicate what I was intending - but as you are such a forgiving audience I trust that you will understand anyway!
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1 comment:
elesa--how incredible that you allow yourself to think so thoroughly and expose yourself at 4:14 in the morning!! We have just moved, the move has not gone smoothly and we remain in temporary housing. ALL of our things except a few article of clothing and pertinent files and a computer are in storage.
While I long for some creature comforts--MY bed, MY books and my coffee maker--I'm beginning to regard these storage units with apprenhension. Just what is all that stuff in there anyway??? Why did I insist on keeping it and dragging it here with me?? Kind of to your line--why did I buy it??? Could I not appreciate it for what it was and WHERE it was and then move on, without buying it??? or keeping it beyond its point of relevance??
anyway--a sore lesson in simplicity for both of us, perhaps?? keep up the comments on your life in Guatemala!
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